Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
