booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
sex in a hospital.. check
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
