But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Randomize
