I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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