im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He better not be in your backpack
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
