a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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