In the future we'll all be gay
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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