So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize