yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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