do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
