i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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