I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
