So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
