You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
