too bad you live with your parents still
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize