I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
