Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
