I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
