Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
