What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
