what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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