either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
