uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
