Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize