Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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