I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
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girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
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I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize