I cockslap morals
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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