There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
