He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
farters have to be the big spoon...
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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