maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
