Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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