Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
send nudes
from the living room?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
