My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
