shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
