So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
