Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
