Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
