Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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