how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You pole danced in your parka.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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