What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just want to make out with him forever
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
