that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
