i just had sex bonerless
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
