Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
