My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
