I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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