Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry ThenIwokeUp hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(646): View more from New York

I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.

(347): View more from New York

And what brought this epiphany?

(646): View more from New York

I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later

Fav 27 3700 916
share tweet
(408): View more from California

When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.

Fav 26 9447 1145
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(440): View more from Ohio

Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer

Fav 4 1464 738
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(201): View more from New Jersey

Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude

Fav 0 46 5
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(605): View more from South Dakota

Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle

Fav 0 33 12
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT