Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize