My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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