i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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