the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
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my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
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