How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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