I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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