so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
