i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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