We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.