Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
