The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up