YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.