im having a threesome with these popsicles
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did