Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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