I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize