How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Randomize
