lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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