Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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