Walk of Shame. In a state park.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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